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Bye.

The personal blog of "Adum Jane"

Hello there. Long time no see. I have been on a hiatus for a longer time than I am comfortable with. I'm not saying I'm going to come back. No I won't. To deduction? Maybe. To blogging? Unlikely. I just want to say thanks for the community. It's been a fun ride.

Personal Stuff

This isn't a usual post. I don't usually do this. I kinda need to vent a little bit. I have a lack of trust for human beings. I know people and how they think. Human beings are fucking disgusting when you think about it. We lie, we cheat, we harm others of our kind intentionally, we betray. The sheer amount of ranting I could do about human nature is a disgusting amount.

I fucking hate myself. I'm a human being. I Have flaws. Just like you. I am a stupid piece of shit. Every single human flaw I can make I make. It's starting to really piss me off. I am a piece of shit. NOT just subconsciously. I do it on purpose. OK I usually do it to people who irritate me on such a level that I just have to insult them. But I honestly go off the rails sometimes and start insulting my friends. It's good context to know that I have a friend-group of merely 5 people(myself included). From these, I only really trust 1. My girlfriend. And if I start insulting them, they'll turn away. I can't live with the fact that I am an asshole most of the time.

The reason I stopped deducing

Recently my relationship of around 8 months started blooming again. I started really loving her. Caring for her. Instead of handling her like a chore once a week. I stopped deducing because it was getting in the way of my thinking when I was with her. Just to clarify: I have two big things in my life sprint kayaking and my girlfriend. I can't give up the former because that's the only one that I'm above average at. I need to spend a lot of time with the latter or else I will start treating her like shit again. I'll try and manage to put the smaller thing in there like: deduction and...

My passion for music

My passion for music started last summer when I started listening to non-mainstream bands. I started listening to Sting and The Police. Not too common for a person my age. Then I started listening to Nirvana one day in the winter. I got hooked. I had a spark. A few years ago my father got a guitar. An Ibanez acoustic guitar. My brother started playing it. He had that spark there. He bought his own electric guitar to feed his desire for Metal. The acoustic was there collecting dust for around a year. Cut back and there is this spark that I don't know what to do with. I picked up that guitar eager to learn. I know exactly when, because it was around a week after we got together with my girlfriend. I learnt some one string riffs. By January I had my first guitar. A cheap strat I bought for 100 bucks. I learnt and I learnt feeding that spark that grew into a fire. I started listening to Foo Fighters, Metallica, Iron Maiden, Megatdeth all the good stuff. I even bought a better guitar. And now I have this ache to perform after learning for 8 months. This fire is now in danger because it's hard to squeeze practising in the little time-frame I have for just myself.

This was all I wanted to say. Thank you for the support through my blogging journey.

Happy motherfuckin' deducing!



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